We have all had our fair share of underhanded and deceitful people cross our paths. Being an individual that desires (and attempts to bring) harmony and respect to all areas of Life, I can not understand why some people feel the need to lie, cheat, back stab and manipulate others for a personal sense of gain.
What can possibly be gained from maliciousness? Power? A promotion? A sense of superiority? While all of these things may seem to be a sign of getting ahead in Life does it not bring a false sense of gain if done so while being dishonest?
I strive to always bring my morals, kindness, creativity and respect with me to my place of employment. Those that know me also know that I have a silly, yet kind, sense of humour that assists in creating a comfortable environment for those that I work beside. Note I said beside; I feel that we are all equal as humans and win/lose respect due to our mannerisms and treatment of others.
Have you ever had to share a work space with someone that is deceitful and feels the need to personally attack you behind your back for unknown reasons? Have you ever felt like someone feels that you are their greatest competition and they need to falsify information to “win” some sort of popularity contest? Or dealt with an individual that is so twisted and phony that they pretend to be a team mate to your face all the while attempting to chip away at your reputation out of earshot?
I would like to say that I am unscathed by one’s nastiness toward me but I can’t. I am affected by this misrepresentation of my character and above all I feel a sense of sadness for the lack of confidence of such an individual. I find such underhanded treachery highly unpalatable. My self talk has had to focus on composure and above all staying true to my self-respecting nature above all else in such situations.
I contemplate the lesson in such a situation and always come back to being kind in the face of unkindness. Being kind does NOT in any way mean I am a doormat though. Standing up for oneself can be carried out with class and decorum. This is a favorite weapon in my personal tool box. When we present ourselves by being assertive and straightforward when necessary, we not only hold our own so to speak, but also teach others how to we expect to be treated. Double win! I believe that what is dished out will also be served back in abundance. Karma, if you will.
Never underestimate the power of a kind woman. Kindness is a choice that comes from incredible strength.
How do you personally deal with such situations? Have you experienced similar and want to dispense personal wisdom?
I long to sit in silence…to slow my thoughts to what is in front of me, around me, inside of me if only for a moment. To allow the flow of the moment to wrap me gently in its arms and tell me that it is alright to take this sliver in time just to breathe. I long to steal away to that place within that has been neglected for the sake of the “musts”.
All in good time, Spirit. The moment shall be sweet indeed when it arises.
“Since everything is a reflection of our minds…everything can be changed by our minds.” – Buddha
Delve deeply into your mind. You will find at that place within that is You, You and no one else, a need so strong for all that is positive. All that is truth and goodness. When we scratch away the surface of preconceived ideas and societies indoctrination of right and wrong we will find our true self underneath. What do you truly yearn for that is not greed, lust, or material possession? What does your inner You need; not want, but need.
A difficult concept to grasp as we are all trained to want “things”. I’m not immune to wanting the same things as most people. Let’s go a bit deeper, shall we? On a different plain we will find a thought process that is extremely nourishing. That a positive mindset brings forth positive reactions to take place. There is something profound about the concept of “like brings like”. How we perceive that which is around us predicts how we react. When we see through positive peepers we project it forth to others.When our thought process finds the goodness in a situation we find resolution, compassion and comfort. Should we experience the opposite thought process of negativity we may experience restlessness, contempt or anger. Why would we want the latter for ourselves? Be honest.
Oftentimes I need to re-examine my thoughts and reactions to switch gears. I am human. Sometimes something rubs me the wrong way. It’s about letting the thought be processed as it is, irritation is a normal response, and find a way to diffuse whatever it may stem from and alter the thought so it becomes constructive. I am not adverse to confronting an irritation (person, place or thing) and dealing with the why and what of things. This is how we learn and grow. To always grumble without being active in transformation dictates a stagnant state of mind. The change is often the slightest alteration of self-talk. When we are diligent at how our internal dialogue plays out we will note a more balanced and calm mindset.
At the risk of sounding flaky with the whole Positive Power mantra, I stand by the notion that our minds are as powerful as we allow them to be. When we dumb down our thoughts we do ourselves a disservice. No need to be all sappy with nonsensical fluff talk and crazy notions that everything is always perfect. It’s not nor will it always be exactly as we desire. It’s about the finding the strength of mind to analyze productively to create a positive space within.
In this very moment in time, I find myself in a crazy juxtaposition. I am floating. Floating as though I am both tossed on the waves of life then a quick turnabout to the calm of outstretched limbs as I float peacefully.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by my emotion. Afraid to make a mistake, all the while knowing that if I would just stop and listen to my Inner Voice I’ll be just fine. Each and every one of us gets the reminder to listen to our inner being or instinct, if you will. How we choose to act in accordance with this voice is ours and ours alone. I know I’m not alone in choosing the overwhelming decision to take on everyone’s opinions and demands from time to time. Some of us have the tendency to let it override our own needs far too often. How can we juggle as many balls as we can handle then simply decide we are no longer capable? Why do some of us feel the need to adopt another juggler’s spheres as well as keep our own aloft? Is this not a recipe for a disaster? Or a source of self sabotage? The thought of giving up and letting the balls fall to the floor is a distressing thought to me. I know that deep within I am capable of almost anything except the jugglers dance for a lengthy period of time.
Yes, I’m stressed by the need to please everyone that surrounds me yet I’m far from a “people-pleaser”. I choose my boundaries and do not let others take advantage of me (much). I’m very capable of saying no and do so when necessary. What I do allow is my own twisted brain to guilt me for not being perfect. Yes, yes. I understand that no one is perfect. I shall always be polite, choose kindness first and foremost and most of all I all too often bite my tongue when what I really want to do is unleash a scathing verbal tirade. My self talk constantly reminds me that to let loose with anger or frustration is merely momentary satisfaction that ends in hurt feelings and self-chastizing brain activity. It serves no real purpose.
I ponder internally at those that feel aggression is the only way to prove a point. I often wonder what propels someone that feels the need to use force or aggression as a means to make themselves heard. Are we really that simplistic as a species to not be able to string proper words together without using our fists? Or to shut down the stupidity of a situation by the mere act of not giving it validation? Don’t get me wrong, there are times I’d love to give a swift slap or two and have done so in the distant past (gasp!) This is a wordless speech that offers violation and anger in return. Pointless, really. I truly believe that ego and immaturity drive the need to push one’s agenda upon another with force.
I rather veered off track, didn’t I? If you know me well, you will go with the flow of my thought progression and think nothing of it.
On that note, this is merely a reminder to like minds that carrying others burdens will not help us in either the short term or long term. It brings with it feelings of exhaustion, frustration and oftentimes resentment. We are not aiding anyone, really. Excusing another of sorting out their own thoughts/issues leads to dependence and the inability to make decisions. In exchange for carrying another jugglers issues, perhaps lending an ear is all that’s in order…or a (hypothetical) swift kick in the backside.
I’ve taken you to the beach in the winter with me before. In my mind it is truly majestic, even if it is one of the Great Lakes and not the sea. My future holds intimate moments connecting with the sea in all seasons. For the time being, I must content myself with Lake Ontario lovely and splendid in its own way.
These photos were taken on three separate walks over a two month period. As you will note, the weather turned and Old Man Winter blew his icy breath upon us as the winter wore on. Spring is now peeking its lovely face forth like a child playing hide and seek, making sunny days ever so welcome. Yesterday was one of those bright days saturated with sunshine which has put a spring back in my step and a smile on my face.
As the season slides dreamily into warmer temperatures, birds singing and flora unfurling and flowering, this Spirit of mine begs to see what she can see.
I have been in a bubble. Yes, I’ve had the yearning to express myself not through words as I would normally feel compelled to do but on a much simpler, elementary level; to feel. The need to experience sensations without the need to compartmentalize Life into words. Does this make any sense whatsoever?
Perhaps it’s was a “tuning out” period that called to me so strongly. I needed a disconnect of sorts. A desire to work on Me, and the Us, without feeling any responsibility to be anything but in the moment. The moment has been eye-opening, mind-blowing and downright delicious.
As time marches forward, the call of the outside world beckons. The trumpet sounds aloud for all the planning and brainstorming to be executed. The plans are laid out on the table of Life. Movement is in the stars, beckoning for adventure and to savour each new experience on the horizon. I am digging deep for this as Life is far too short and can all too easily pass us by.
What calls to you? Dare you dive into the deep end, or are you one to dip your toe to test the waters first?
“Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you are right.”
As I wander along the road of self-discovery and Life in general, it has finally dawned on me that being offended by everything takes an extreme amount of energy. I have realized that being offended by what others may choose for themselves is a seriously futile practice. Frankly, unless it affects my life path or that person is putting themselves in danger and I am able to assist in their well-being it’s none of my goddamn business. Life gives us many opportunities to learn certain lessons and this one has seemed to repeat itself frequently in my story. I needed to learn the lesson that being offended by anything and everything was, and is, an utter waste of time.
To be offended oftentimes points a finger at the offended individual being judgemental. I too have been guilty of such a practice. Judgemental of choices and beliefs that are sometimes passed along from generation to generation or as simple as self-assertiveness against indoctrinated beliefs that are not in sync with an individual. I truly believe that each and every one of us needs to make mistakes here and there. It’s whether we learn anything from these errors or decisions that aren’t necessarily constructive on our journey that can shape us into incredible human beings. To be offended or uppity about someone else’s journey is at its core ignorant. When I use the term ignorant I use it in the sense of without understanding. Ignorant of all that brought that person to that point. Whether it be an action, a reaction, or a belief. How dare we presume to know what is true to someone else’s Spirit simply because it isn’t what we would choose for ourselves? Perhaps a lapse in truly understanding oneself was at play and that is not for us to judge for we too have probably made errors in judgement at some point or another ourselves. To think we are above scrutiny or slipups would be beyond ridiculous.
It all comes down to one little tidbit; we need to get over ourselves. Myself included.
This may sound harsh in itself but if we really dig deep it becomes quite evident that it is all the pretenses and fabrication of what is right/wrong that we have led ourselves to believe that becomes the issue. Who says I need to eat a certain way to be the healthiest me that I can be? Why should I not laugh uproariously if I find something comical? Why should a female have a “ladylike” career? Why is blame or shaming thought an appropriate response when a female is raped and it becomes part of her life story? How could a family member turn their back on another due to a difference in opinion? These are the simple questions but it goes much deeper.
I question myself often when I feel offended by something. I ponder why I react with offense and negative emotion. I often come to the conclusion that something that offends me is generally outside my personal understanding or comfort zone. Occasionally it all boils down to my ego being bruised. This is ludicrous in itself, really. Upon asking myself why I feel the need to get agitated or judgy I often realize it is from not opening my mind enough and getting all tight within my thoughts of what should be.We need to drop the pretenses that we know what’s best for others strictly on how we choose to live and think. We need to more often than not keep our opinions to ourselves unless asked. Let others be who they need to be as they will evolve into the Spirit they are meant to be.
I am not suggesting we accept anything and everything under the guise of freedom of expression. Especially if it infringes on others well-being and life path. What I do suggest is that compassion and the effort of opening ones mind be centre stage before we criticize.
” Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. it requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding. “
I must bring myself back to my sacred place within. To ground myself with the nature of Being, to feel the ever-so-slight hum that one can feel while being still and without thought or preconception. To remind myself that the joy in this journey of life is not strictly about the milestone moments but about the every day. The small stuff that reminds me of how wonderful the gift of Life truly is. The dewdrop on a young green leaf is purity itself. That the arms of the man I love around me when I’m feeling vulnerable heals me and reminds me that I am enough just the way I am in this very moment. The intense joy when a loved one succeeds where their focus is directed. That the wind in my hair awakens the feeling of pure freedom. We are bestowed many gifts throughout Life if we remember to be present in the moments provided.
At a time in my life that is filled to overflowing with an abundance of change, I pause to remind myself to trust in the process. To not allow stress to make my decisions for me but instead follow my heart and intuition sprinkled with a healthy portion of logic. Instead of panicking, I choose to open my mind to creative solutions. To let my Path unfold before me and enjoy the ride. I allow myself to be fully aware that I have come to a fork in the road and decisions must be made. I do not make these decisions lightly and take into account not only my own needs and happiness but those of my loved ones – the man to whom I love completely with every fiber of my being and my two children that I have been blessed with to guide through life and share the heart-warming (and occasionally heart-wrenching) love between a mother and her children. I walk with purpose toward the crossroads as I weigh the plentiful paths before me. No path comes without both challenges and happiness. I expect nothing less than miracles…I’m ready for forward momentum and trust the process of building both a positive future and many beautiful moments along the way with those I hold close to my heart.
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, probably far too much. I’m at the point of risking the dreaded over-thinking which I detest. I’ll chalk it up to being human, give it a swift kick and keep on pressing forward past what tries to tempt me to dwell in discomfort. We all feel vulnerable, fearful, angry, and a multitude of other emotions on occasion. It’s part of our life path, if you will. To learn the lessons that present themselves, hopefully the first time around so as not to repeat them. We need to look these thoughts and emotions straight in the eye and deal with them so as not to be consumed by them.
I have come to a conclusion. Much of what burdens or hinders our growth and happiness comes down to one thing. Complicating things that really don’t need to be. Simplicity is our best tool in life. Many years ago, a teacher taught me a valuable lesson. The rule was straightforward and easy; K.I.S.S. – Keep It Simple Stupid. I overlooked this valuable acronym at the time for idiocy. Boy, was I misguided! I think I was the Stupid he was referring to. Ahem. I chose to complicate things far too often for my own good. I think the lesson may finally have sunk in. It only took 21 years to do so. Not so quick on the pick up of this lesson, sad to say.
It is easy to detect others over complicating matters but when it comes down to ourselves it isn’t always so simple. I think it has been a recent compilation of things that finally shone the light bulb of wisdom on this lesson for me. I have managed to over complicate things in many arenas of my life. Perhaps by trying to protect others’ feelings, keep the peace or be a people pleaser. I feel I am on the right track to improving upon things that weren’t/aren’t to my liking over the past few years, yet I was missing that key element of simplicity.
Why do we exaggerate things in our minds or try to make tasks more difficult than they need to be? Could it be ego? Or perhaps comparison? Maybe a case of insecurity? A building up of fear to paralyze ourselves from getting over an unknown? I suppose it could also arrive along with the need to make something seem bigger than it is in order to make ourselves feel more important when we solve the issue. I’m sure it is unique to every individual and each case of complication. While some individuals thrive on chaos, I long for peace tempered with the exhilaration of laughter and occasional fits of wild abandon while engaging in something that makes my pulse quicken- for good measure. Simple, life-affirming stuff. That’s it.
“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” – Confucius
The vortex of energy sapping over complication drains the joy out of the life I choose for myself and I’m on a mission to simplify. Will I sit by idly and allow myself and those I love to get caught up in the swirling doom? HELL NO!