I am caught in a vortex of emotions.
Over the last few weeks there has been a few pivotal moments in my life that I have needed to focus on. I have been trying to juggle many things at once and it seemed like something was just going to have to “give”. It was at this point that I received a feeling of sorts. Out of nowhere, fleeting thoughts of someone dear to me appeared throughout my week. On the evening of Friday, November 2nd I had been out and upon returning home I received a message to call my father. I knew instantly in my heart what he had to tell me. My thoughts were confirmed. I was told with sadness that my grandmother had passed away. Although I was upset by the news it was not a terrible shock. My grandmother was 95 years old and had lived an amazingly full life. She was is great health with only a broken hip to slow her down a couple of years ago.
If you don’t mind, I am going to reflect briefly on my sensational grandmother and who she was in my eyes.
My Grandma was extremely pivotal in my evolution as a woman. She was always full of positivity and seemed unflappable. She had a “You have to eat a little dirt before you die!” attitude. She rolled with the ups and downs of life and adapted when she needed to. As a young girl growing up, I saw my Grandma as brave, independent and fabulous. She was a seamstress and always had stacks of “repairs” she was working on. A steady stream of customers were always dropping by to pick up their clothes that Grandma had fixed for them. Never judging that the customers pants needed letting out – again. She would just chuckle and do a quick little wave of her hand to signify that it really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I loved when she did that. I have since learned that the little things we can all get so bent out of shape over are neither here nor there. Let life flow as it may. Enjoy the ride and let others live their lives in their own way. Being non-judgemental doesn’t mean not having an opinion on things, it simply means that we are all different and others are not there for us to critique.
I learned early from my Grandma that sanity comes from acting a bit nutty sometimes. Laughter is the best medicine life has to offer. She would laugh with us when we told jokes, acted crazy or dressed up in her closet full of retro clothes. I see myself very much like her in this respect. I love to play and get kooky with my kids and friends just for the heck of it. Life is too short to be serious all of the time! When the weather is grey, put on some red high heels, sling a red purse over your shoulder and paint your nails to match!
I think the hardest part of saying goodbye to my Grandmother is that in my mind and heart she seemed immortal. I know better, obviously, but she had serious staying power. It seems surreal that her time here on earth is over. Memories of her will always be easy to come by since there are so many wonderful life moments that were shared with her.She showed me through her actions how to be kind and joyful. I was truly blessed to have her as my Grandmother.
Now I just have to learn to make raisin cookies the way only she could!
“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” – Mark Twain