Harsh Judgment

Recently I have allowed my alter ego to rear her ugly head. For this I am ashamed. This sounds dramatic, I know, but let me explain. I hope you won’t judge me as harshly as I have been guilty of doing as of late.


Have you ever met someone and instantly felt not just the lack of a connection but serious irritation when around said individual?  I don’t often dislike people I meet and think of myself as accepting, friendly and patient with others. However, I met someone recently that seemed to crawl right under my skin at our initial introduction and stayed there, prickling me like  stinging nettles as though I had rolled naked in a patch of them! Usually I would think that this was just a delayed rapport and overlook my bitchiness but for some reason I just couldn’t seem to bring my head around to where my heart wanted it to be. I confess to being ashamed by my lack of character because I proceeded to be judgmental and harsh in my outlook toward this person. I had thought that I had left these mean girl feelings in the dust long ago but I was obviously mistaken. I have some work to do inside myself to understand my reaction.



I don’t feel threatened or jealous in any way of this individual, nor do I feel that I am superior to them in any way, shape or form. I was simply irked by them. They grated on my nerves. I actually felt the desire to punch them. Yikes! This is so not me. I feel as though I have betrayed myself by feeling so negatively about someone else. Why did this person bring out these feelings? Not only am I confused by my thoughts and feelings but disgusted with myself as well. Perhaps the nasty Twin of my Gemini being felt deprived of action and needed to break free of the chains I have shackled her with. Perhaps I need to drop kick this Twin to the curb when she gets out of sorts. I like Bubbly Twin far better than Bitchy Twin.



Despite my loathing of my being judgmental I have come to learn a bit more about myself through this experience. I have encountered a reemergence of a thought pattern I had hoped I had done away with. I guess the big lesson here, other than not judging others, is that we all have thoughts that are not always bright and sparkly. There are moments when kindness is not our strong suit. That we need to work through these moments and thoughts with the intent of compassion and acceptance because that person is dealing with their own “stuff” as much as each of us is. I do not have the right to judge another but need to accept them in each moment for who they are…right then.





“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”  – Winston Churchill

18 thoughts on “Harsh Judgment

  1. Yep, as Teresa says, you seem to have figured it out. Don’t beat yourself up too much about it. After all, your own chemical balance could have been out of alignment when you met.(You DO love your coffee, haha.) It IS tough, however, meeting folks today who are uninformed about health and the environment, and for those, I find myself impatient and sometimes incredulous, when the evidence is all around us. – Kaye

  2. Hmmm, I like the Bubbly Twin and I’m liking the Introspective Twin, too. Kinda glad I missed the Bitchy one. 😉

    Dear Introspective Twin,
    Did you ever consider the concept of transference…seeing in another something you want to change in yourself? Just a possibility.

    • Ha…Bitchy Twin doesn’t get out much. She doesn’t play well with others. 😉

      Actually Cyndi, I had rolled the concept of transference around in my noggin. That’s not it but in this case it would have made things easier, that’s for sure. Thanks for the great (and light-hearted) comment. Your perspective is always welcome.

  3. I would say don’t be so harsh on yourself, as compassionate and accepting we are at some point there will always be someone who will manage to bring out the worst of us. I don’t know the reason why, but definitely there are people with whom we are incompatible and best just to keep the distance -or at least that’s my opinion.

    • I agree. There are some folks we just aren’t compatible with. It was my reaction that upset me more than my not liking someone, I think. Thanks for the boost and to remember that it’s alright to accept my feelings as they are.

      • I’ve been through something similar recently and as well I was surprised at my reaction (others too) but then analyzing back everything, in conclusion, we all have the right to get upset or angry once in a while, not everything is pink and bright every day – so deal with it! (sounds harsh? 🙂

  4. Melissa I really enjoyed and identified with your post. Thank you for being so open. I speak here for myself. I have found these strong reactions to certain people the best kind of lessons in coming to a deeper understanding of myself. I say this because inevitably what I react to in them is often, not always, something in me that I’ve not dealt with. That’s why I suspect that they are immense gifts to me, although I certainly have to think and work hard to see them as this. It’s quite strange how when they kind of become a mirror in to my own make up, and I see it, my responses to them and to myself change.

    • That’s a great way to absorb situations like this, Don. I kept trying to find something within my distaste that I needed to deal with but kept coming to the conclusion that my reaction was what my issue was. I opened my heart a bit wider to see this person for who they are, accepted the fact that we are all human, and moved on. I feel better knowing that I am capable of seeing past irritation and spinning my nasty thoughts into acceptance. Thanks for your input, Don. You always have a great perspective.

  5. I am Gemini and understand very well what you are talking about. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to keep my bad genie in the bottle. Over the years I have found many different ways of dealing with this and now have a much better time with it.

      • Glad to. I find your site very interesting because I am a tree-huger at heart. I have seen other so called green sites on here but they are the cut and paste type, they just post stuff from tree-huger and other sites like that. Yours is refreshing because you use your words and not just a bunch of re blogs. !

  6. Why, thank you. My goal with my blog is to relate that living a “green” lifestyle doesn’t have to be expensive or fanatical. It is about incorporating ways to alter our thoughts and actions to be more compassionate and safe without stress.

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