Toxic People Test


Lately I seem to be bombarded by people off-loading toxicity. I would ask why but sometimes it’s just best to not let it eat up too much head space. To this I just shrug my shoulders, walk a LOT to breathe in fresh air, and spend more time with the friends that I know will make me laugh and help make sense of human stupidity and arrogance. There are certain instances where I know without the shadow of a doubt that people spew their garbage in my direction simply to get a rise out of me. I’m not sure they really want my reaction because it may never come. I have worked on my level of tolerance over the last ten years or so and have become a slow smolder, but there is a distinct threshold to my patience. I’m no mouse when it gets to this point. A lover, not a fighter is my true nature however there is fire in these veins.

 

 

Yesterday I was at the brink of popping someone. Yes, me. It felt like the negative bus had pulled up and offloaded an angry mob at my doorstep. To make a long story short, I worked through it with a few laughs along the way…but mostly a whole lot of working out, fresh air, journaling and loud tunes. I can’t hold a grudge or stay angry for long. After a few hours it just seems pointless and over-thinking kicks in. My bubbly nature tends to create waves again and I’m over whatever was bugging me. Moving on!

 

 

Feeling invigorated this morning and looking forward to spending time with a close friend, I had an upbeat attitude and a smile on my face. Even my hair was cooperating this morning!

 

I arrived at my local Starbucks to meet my friend, ordered my coffee and snagged a couple of comfy chairs at the window to enjoy the warmth of the sun. While waiting for said friend to arrive, I was within the auditory sphere of a group of ladies I have noticed here before. They were taking up a lot of space and dragged a bunch of chairs around a table, spilling over into the space of other customers. I waited patiently in my seat, minding my own business and trying not to overhear any of their bizarre conversation about the faults of one friends’ face and how said woman should do something about it. Good grief. As my friend was getting out of her vehicle, another woman came in to the coffee shop and joined this gaggle beside me. Only problem was, this woman dumped all her stuff on the chair I was reserving for my friend. I politely said, “Excuse me. This seat is saved for the person I’m meeting.” Well, you would think I woke a demon! The woman that was ever so sweetly pointing out her friends short-comings turned her wrath on me. “YOU CAN’T SAVE SEATS HERE!”, she snarled at me. What the heck? She proceeded to hiss at me that her friend had back issues and needed that chair. Then she told her friend to pull the chair up to their table! (Didn’t she just say her friend had back issues? Why was she not helping her friend with the chair?)  I was dumbfounded. Inside I chuckled to myself thinking how lucky this woman was that she didn’t try to steamroll me yesterday. Today she was dealing with normal me; whatever normal is. I kindly reported that I would move, since her friend was in need of that chair due to her back issue. You would think I had told her to go f*ck herself. She huffed and puffed like the wolf trying to blow down the little piggy’s house! I just grabbed my stuff and moved, whilst shaking my head. Weird.

 

Of course, my friend had walked in to see me moving seats and wondered what was going on. I let her in on the kerfuffle and was rewarded with a kind response about how tolerant I am of other people’s rudeness. That’s exactly what this boiled down to. Severe rudeness on this woman’s part and a sense of superiority. I was not going to be immature and argue over a seat, but clearly she was doing exactly what she told me I wasn’t entitled to do. What makes people think it is ever acceptable to speak to people like this? This is where every day dealings go off the rails. When we start speaking to others in such a way and with the tone that someone is worth less than another, issues arise. Not only is it rude, it displays a total lack of class. I would never think twice about giving up my seat to someone that genuinely needs it or asks politely, but bullying is pure toxicity. I will always use manners first and foremost. My parents taught me well that when you are kind, you are usually repaid with kindness. I only wish everyone had learned this wise teaching.

 

 

I think this was a test for me today…and I passed with flying colours.

 

 

 

“Anytime anybody is rude, it makes me double- check my own behaviour to make sure I don’t do that to other people.”  – Patricia Heaton

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18 thoughts on “Toxic People Test

  1. I applaud you!! If only more people could react (or not react) in the way you do. It’s really something to be proud of!

    I’m not one to make a scene with people, although in a case like that, maybe? Probably not though, but it would bother me all day. That woman, or the entire group of women, probably have “issues” and aren’t happy with their lives, which makes them behave so childishly.

  2. It depends how you feel about it afterwards. I often feel steamrolled and get mad at myself for permitting some to drive over me without any consequence. Then again, analogous to this case, it’s her life that sucks, not yours. 😉

    • I hear what you are saying, D. I don’t feel steamrolled in any way. Do you honestly think I allow myself to be steamrolled? I am more likely to quietly speak so only that person can hear me to make them feel like a total wad. However, sometimes Mama Bear comes out and heads roll. Not often though because then I’m the one that walks away feeling crappy. I don’t presume to know whether she has a suckish life or not but my life ROCKS! It is what we make it and if snapping at a younger female in public makes her feel good about herself, she has some growing up to do.

  3. Bravo! It’s always great to hear there are wise, kind and tolerant folks left in the world. And it is particularly great to hear it is one of my treasured friends. 😉

    By the way, I am glad to hear yesterday’s Melissa is doing well…and that her hair cooperated, too!!

    • Oh, I know exactly how it would have gone yesterday Kaye! I must admit that I laugh a bit at the thought. I have been doing a lot of work on my high kicks, elbow smashes and punching with great force lately during my workouts. 😉 Not nice of me but helps to put it into perspective that my actions today were the right ones for the situation.

      Sadly, it is typically women that I have run-ins with. The other day it was a lady ramming me with great force with a shopping buggy. I really had to rain it in then. My daughter stopped instantly, waiting for my reaction. She revealed later that she was kind of shocked that I didn’t rip the woman’s face off. I laughed uproariously at that! As if.

      Yes, I have checked out and subscribed to your great new site. I just haven’t commented. Guess I need to start doing so again. Thanks for the reminder.

  4. Unfortunately the saying that when you are kind, you’ll be repaid the same, it’s not true in this world, maybe in a future one? Until then, staying in control it’s very wise, but kind of tough sometimes. You should be proud 🙂

    • You are correct, and rudeness is not a welcome response as far as I’m concerned. However, please note that I stated …”usually repaid with kindness.” Key word being usually. I don’t know about your experiences but in mine, people tend to mimic the other person’s tone. It just so happens that there tends to be a few rotten apples in each basket and it seemed to be my turn to be thrown in next to a few undesirable “apples”!

  5. Well done you. It’s got to feel good to the bone knowing you were able to respond rather react to such an inflammatory situation. And that takes practice. I hope you’re not faced with an unreasonable amount. 😉

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