In this very moment in time, I find myself in a crazy juxtaposition. I am floating. Floating as though I am both tossed on the waves of life then a quick turnabout to the calm of outstretched limbs as I float peacefully.
Sometimes I am overwhelmed by my emotion. Afraid to make a mistake, all the while knowing that if I would just stop and listen to my Inner Voice I’ll be just fine. Each and every one of us gets the reminder to listen to our inner being or instinct, if you will. How we choose to act in accordance with this voice is ours and ours alone. I know I’m not alone in choosing the overwhelming decision to take on everyone’s opinions and demands from time to time. Some of us have the tendency to let it override our own needs far too often. How can we juggle as many balls as we can handle then simply decide we are no longer capable? Why do some of us feel the need to adopt another juggler’s spheres as well as keep our own aloft? Is this not a recipe for a disaster? Or a source of self sabotage? The thought of giving up and letting the balls fall to the floor is a distressing thought to me. I know that deep within I am capable of almost anything except the jugglers dance for a lengthy period of time.
Yes, I’m stressed by the need to please everyone that surrounds me yet I’m far from a “people-pleaser”. I choose my boundaries and do not let others take advantage of me (much). I’m very capable of saying no and do so when necessary. What I do allow is my own twisted brain to guilt me for not being perfect. Yes, yes. I understand that no one is perfect. I shall always be polite, choose kindness first and foremost and most of all I all too often bite my tongue when what I really want to do is unleash a scathing verbal tirade. My self talk constantly reminds me that to let loose with anger or frustration is merely momentary satisfaction that ends in hurt feelings and self-chastizing brain activity. It serves no real purpose.
I ponder internally at those that feel aggression is the only way to prove a point. I often wonder what propels someone that feels the need to use force or aggression as a means to make themselves heard. Are we really that simplistic as a species to not be able to string proper words together without using our fists? Or to shut down the stupidity of a situation by the mere act of not giving it validation? Don’t get me wrong, there are times I’d love to give a swift slap or two and have done so in the distant past (gasp!) This is a wordless speech that offers violation and anger in return. Pointless, really. I truly believe that ego and immaturity drive the need to push one’s agenda upon another with force.
I rather veered off track, didn’t I? If you know me well, you will go with the flow of my thought progression and think nothing of it.
On that note, this is merely a reminder to like minds that carrying others burdens will not help us in either the short term or long term. It brings with it feelings of exhaustion, frustration and oftentimes resentment. We are not aiding anyone, really. Excusing another of sorting out their own thoughts/issues leads to dependence and the inability to make decisions. In exchange for carrying another jugglers issues, perhaps lending an ear is all that’s in order…or a (hypothetical) swift kick in the backside.
“Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you are right.”
As I wander along the road of self-discovery and Life in general, it has finally dawned on me that being offended by everything takes an extreme amount of energy. I have realized that being offended by what others may choose for themselves is a seriously futile practice. Frankly, unless it affects my life path or that person is putting themselves in danger and I am able to assist in their well-being it’s none of my goddamn business. Life gives us many opportunities to learn certain lessons and this one has seemed to repeat itself frequently in my story. I needed to learn the lesson that being offended by anything and everything was, and is, an utter waste of time.
To be offended oftentimes points a finger at the offended individual being judgemental. I too have been guilty of such a practice. Judgemental of choices and beliefs that are sometimes passed along from generation to generation or as simple as self-assertiveness against indoctrinated beliefs that are not in sync with an individual. I truly believe that each and every one of us needs to make mistakes here and there. It’s whether we learn anything from these errors or decisions that aren’t necessarily constructive on our journey that can shape us into incredible human beings. To be offended or uppity about someone else’s journey is at its core ignorant. When I use the term ignorant I use it in the sense of without understanding. Ignorant of all that brought that person to that point. Whether it be an action, a reaction, or a belief. How dare we presume to know what is true to someone else’s Spirit simply because it isn’t what we would choose for ourselves? Perhaps a lapse in truly understanding oneself was at play and that is not for us to judge for we too have probably made errors in judgement at some point or another ourselves. To think we are above scrutiny or slipups would be beyond ridiculous.
It all comes down to one little tidbit; we need to get over ourselves. Myself included.
This may sound harsh in itself but if we really dig deep it becomes quite evident that it is all the pretenses and fabrication of what is right/wrong that we have led ourselves to believe that becomes the issue. Who says I need to eat a certain way to be the healthiest me that I can be? Why should I not laugh uproariously if I find something comical? Why should a female have a “ladylike” career? Why is blame or shaming thought an appropriate response when a female is raped and it becomes part of her life story? How could a family member turn their back on another due to a difference in opinion? These are the simple questions but it goes much deeper.
I question myself often when I feel offended by something. I ponder why I react with offense and negative emotion. I often come to the conclusion that something that offends me is generally outside my personal understanding or comfort zone. Occasionally it all boils down to my ego being bruised. This is ludicrous in itself, really. Upon asking myself why I feel the need to get agitated or judgy I often realize it is from not opening my mind enough and getting all tight within my thoughts of what should be.We need to drop the pretenses that we know what’s best for others strictly on how we choose to live and think. We need to more often than not keep our opinions to ourselves unless asked. Let others be who they need to be as they will evolve into the Spirit they are meant to be.
I am not suggesting we accept anything and everything under the guise of freedom of expression. Especially if it infringes on others well-being and life path. What I do suggest is that compassion and the effort of opening ones mind be centre stage before we criticize.
” Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. it requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding. “