“Just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you are right.”
As I wander along the road of self-discovery and Life in general, it has finally dawned on me that being offended by everything takes an extreme amount of energy. I have realized that being offended by what others may choose for themselves is a seriously futile practice. Frankly, unless it affects my life path or that person is putting themselves in danger and I am able to assist in their well-being it’s none of my goddamn business. Life gives us many opportunities to learn certain lessons and this one has seemed to repeat itself frequently in my story. I needed to learn the lesson that being offended by anything and everything was, and is, an utter waste of time.
To be offended oftentimes points a finger at the offended individual being judgemental. I too have been guilty of such a practice. Judgemental of choices and beliefs that are sometimes passed along from generation to generation or as simple as self-assertiveness against indoctrinated beliefs that are not in sync with an individual. I truly believe that each and every one of us needs to make mistakes here and there. It’s whether we learn anything from these errors or decisions that aren’t necessarily constructive on our journey that can shape us into incredible human beings. To be offended or uppity about someone else’s journey is at its core ignorant. When I use the term ignorant I use it in the sense of without understanding. Ignorant of all that brought that person to that point. Whether it be an action, a reaction, or a belief. How dare we presume to know what is true to someone else’s Spirit simply because it isn’t what we would choose for ourselves? Perhaps a lapse in truly understanding oneself was at play and that is not for us to judge for we too have probably made errors in judgement at some point or another ourselves. To think we are above scrutiny or slipups would be beyond ridiculous.
It all comes down to one little tidbit; we need to get over ourselves. Myself included.
This may sound harsh in itself but if we really dig deep it becomes quite evident that it is all the pretenses and fabrication of what is right/wrong that we have led ourselves to believe that becomes the issue. Who says I need to eat a certain way to be the healthiest me that I can be? Why should I not laugh uproariously if I find something comical? Why should a female have a “ladylike” career? Why is blame or shaming thought an appropriate response when a female is raped and it becomes part of her life story? How could a family member turn their back on another due to a difference in opinion? These are the simple questions but it goes much deeper.
I question myself often when I feel offended by something. I ponder why I react with offense and negative emotion. I often come to the conclusion that something that offends me is generally outside my personal understanding or comfort zone. Occasionally it all boils down to my ego being bruised. This is ludicrous in itself, really. Upon asking myself why I feel the need to get agitated or judgy I often realize it is from not opening my mind enough and getting all tight within my thoughts of what should be.We need to drop the pretenses that we know what’s best for others strictly on how we choose to live and think. We need to more often than not keep our opinions to ourselves unless asked. Let others be who they need to be as they will evolve into the Spirit they are meant to be.
I am not suggesting we accept anything and everything under the guise of freedom of expression. Especially if it infringes on others well-being and life path. What I do suggest is that compassion and the effort of opening ones mind be centre stage before we criticize.
” Opinion is really the lowest form of human knowledge. it requires no accountability, no understanding. The highest form of knowledge is empathy, for it requires us to suspend our egos and live in another’s world. It requires profound purpose larger than the self kind of understanding. “
A few days ago, I heard a woman say something so simple yet so profound. She said, ” This makes me happy.” It struck me instantly how amazing these few words strung together really are. I found myself smiling at the knowledge this woman shared outwardly. So often we deny ourselves the emotion of just being happy. To realize in the exact moment of happiness what it is that makes us feel this way is truly wonderful. The comment led to a lovely conversation with my boss (and friend) as to how this comment made us feel upon hearing the woman say such a sentence. We both had a similar reaction of joy. A heartfelt outpouring of words that made us relish the moment and reflect. To be so in touch with a moment in time and our own reaction to it is in its essence very grounding.
Last weekend my sister and I hit some garden centres where we came across this gigantic flower-pot. If it helps to set the scene, I’m 5’9″ so this is a pretty tall vessel for plant material! I have a similar one that is a smidgen smaller but this one was seriously big enough to immerse myself in should I so choose. If I didn’t think my sister would have been embarrassed I probably would have climbed in to test my theory. Happiness is those small blips that make your Soul feel uplifted, whatever the cause. This moment was a blip in my day…although just being with my sister makes me incredibly happy in itself.
Although I am acting like a dork, I’m happy!
What makes you happy? Is there a moment you remember thinking “this makes me happy”?
“True happiness is…to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Over the last few weeks there has been a few pivotal moments in my life that I have needed to focus on. I have been trying to juggle many things at once and it seemed like something was just going to have to “give”. It was at this point that I received a feeling of sorts. Out of nowhere, fleeting thoughts of someone dear to me appeared throughout my week. On the evening of Friday, November 2nd I had been out and upon returning home I received a message to call my father. I knew instantly in my heart what he had to tell me. My thoughts were confirmed. I was told with sadness that my grandmother had passed away. Although I was upset by the news it was not a terrible shock. My grandmother was 95 years old and had lived an amazingly full life. She was is great health with only a broken hip to slow her down a couple of years ago.
If you don’t mind, I am going to reflect briefly on my sensational grandmother and who she was in my eyes.
My Grandma was extremely pivotal in my evolution as a woman. She was always full of positivity and seemed unflappable. She had a “You have to eat a little dirt before you die!” attitude. She rolled with the ups and downs of life and adapted when she needed to. As a young girl growing up, I saw my Grandma as brave, independent and fabulous. She was a seamstress and always had stacks of “repairs” she was working on. A steady stream of customers were always dropping by to pick up their clothes that Grandma had fixed for them. Never judging that the customers pants needed letting out – again. She would just chuckle and do a quick little wave of her hand to signify that it really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I loved when she did that. I have since learned that the little things we can all get so bent out of shape over are neither here nor there. Let life flow as it may. Enjoy the ride and let others live their lives in their own way. Being non-judgemental doesn’t mean not having an opinion on things, it simply means that we are all different and others are not there for us to critique.
I learned early from my Grandma that sanity comes from acting a bit nutty sometimes. Laughter is the best medicine life has to offer. She would laugh with us when we told jokes, acted crazy or dressed up in her closet full of retro clothes. I see myself very much like her in this respect. I love to play and get kooky with my kids and friends just for the heck of it. Life is too short to be serious all of the time! When the weather is grey, put on some red high heels, sling a red purse over your shoulder and paint your nails to match!
I think the hardest part of saying goodbye to my Grandmother is that in my mind and heart she seemed immortal. I know better, obviously, but she had serious staying power. It seems surreal that her time here on earth is over. Memories of her will always be easy to come by since there are so many wonderful life moments that were shared with her.She showed me through her actions how to be kind and joyful. I was truly blessed to have her as my Grandmother.
Now I just have to learn to make raisin cookies the way only she could!
“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” – Mark Twain